Throughline Clarity

Divorce checklist: the first two weeks

By Throughline Clarity

This is not legal advice. It is general information, and divorce rules differ by state. For advice about your situation, talk to a licensed family lawyer where you live.

Rules differ by state. This checklist is general information to help you get organized, not legal advice. For advice about your situation, talk to a family lawyer licensed where you live.

You don't need to do all of this at once. You need to do the right things first, and stop worrying about the rest until it's their turn. That's what this list is for.

It runs in three stretches. Days one to three are about safety and deadlines. Days four to seven are about the money picture. The second week is about getting help and getting ready for it. Each step links to a longer guide if you want the detail. Print it, tick it off, skip what doesn't apply.

Days 1 to 3: safe, and on time

1. Make sure you're safe. If you're in immediate danger, call 911. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. It's free, confidential and open 24/7. (The Hotline, read 17 Oct 2026) Nothing else on this list matters more.

2. If you've been served, write down the date. Write it on the envelope and somewhere else too. Your deadline runs from it. Keep every page together.

3. Find your deadline. It's usually printed on the papers. Two examples of how much it varies:

If you're unsure, ask the court clerk or your state's court self-help center. The full first week is in served with divorce papers.

4. Check whether court orders already apply to you. In some places they start as soon as the case does. California's family-law summons carries standard restraining orders on both spouses, "starting immediately." (FL-110, page 2) New York has automatic orders. (22 NYCRR § 202.16-a, read on Cornell LII 17 Oct 2026) In Texas it depends on the county. TexasLawHelp suggests checking the county or district clerk's website, or calling the clerk. (TexasLawHelp, "Standing Orders", last legal review 11 Mar 2024, read 17 Oct 2026)

5. Hold off on the big moves. Don't move or hide money, cancel insurance, change a beneficiary, take the children out of state, sign anything you haven't read, or post about it. Each of those is explained, with what the courts say, in what not to do in the first weeks of a divorce.

Days 4 to 7: the money picture

6. Start a folder. Paper or digital, one place for everything. Most of what a lawyer will ask for falls into a few piles:

  1. Income: recent pay stubs, and any self-employment records.
  2. Tax returns for the last two years.
  3. Account statements: bank, retirement, investments.
  4. The house or the lease: mortgage statement, deed, rental agreement.
  5. Debts: credit cards, loans, car payments.

Only gather what you can get to easily and safely. The full list, and why each piece matters, is in what to bring to a divorce consultation.

7. Sort it the way courts tend to. California's self-help guide asks each spouse to list what they own, owe, earn and spend, and says "Both sides must be honest and complete." (California Courts Self-Help Guide, "Share your financial information", read 17 Oct 2026) Those four headings work as a rough sketch in any state, even if your state's forms look different. Leave nothing off, including the account you'd rather not mention.

8. Pull your credit report. It shows debts in your name you may not know about. The Federal Trade Commission says you can check your report from each of the three nationwide bureaus once a week for free, at AnnualCreditReport.com. (FTC, "Free Credit Reports", June 2026, read 17 Oct 2026)

9. Write down what a month costs you. Rent or mortgage, food, childcare, the car, the phone. A rough number is fine. It's the starting point for every conversation about support and about what you can afford.

Days 8 to 14: help, and getting ready for it

10. Work out what you can spend on help. Our guide to how much a divorce costs breaks down where the money goes. If money is tight, USA.gov points to LawHelp.org, which helps find free legal aid for people with low to moderate incomes, and ABA Free Legal Answers, where people with low incomes can ask a lawyer questions online. (USA.gov, "Find a lawyer for affordable legal aid", updated 17 Nov 2025, read 17 Oct 2026)

11. Decide who to talk to first. A mediator helps the two of you reach an agreement. A lawyer advises one of you. Some people use both. The differences, and when the order is decided for you, are in mediation or a lawyer.

12. Book a consultation. Even one meeting can change what you do next. If you don't know what to expect from it, read what happens at a divorce consultation first.

13. Write down what you actually want. Short lines, not essays. The house. The money you need to live on. If you have children, how their week looks now and how you'd like it to look. Mark what you're sure of and what you're not.

14. Write your questions. Bring them on paper, so the meeting doesn't run out before you get to them. Start with questions to ask a divorce lawyer, and add one from this list: "Is there anything I should stop, or start, doing this week?"

The short version

If you only do four things in two weeks:

  1. Get safe.
  2. Find your deadline, if there is one.
  3. Don't move money or sign anything until you've had advice.
  4. Walk into your first meeting knowing what you want and what you need to ask.

Where Throughline fits

Steps 13 and 14 are the ones people find hardest alone, and they're the whole of what we do. You talk with one of us for about thirty minutes, by phone or video, from anywhere in the United States. You pick who: Dusan, Jennileen, or Rosa, who works in Spanish and English. Each of us has been through a separation. The same day, you get your real asks written down, the questions your own story raises for your lawyer, and a one-page summary they can read in a minute. You pay after, and only if it helped. We're not lawyers and this isn't legal advice. Talk to us.

Sources

More guides

This is general information, not legal advice. Divorce rules differ by state. For advice about your situation, talk to a licensed family lawyer where you live.